Let me tell you what I find exhausting. I find that keeping up with “friends” that never call you or “friends” that used to call or write but don’t anymore is positively exhausting. It seems like, as we get older, our circle of friends dwindles slowly. True friends, that is. I’m not talking about acquaintances or Facebook friends or friends that call you when they need something, but real, true-blue friends.
I used to find myself calling people that I thought to be good friends to check up on them and see how things are; to invite them to lunch or a party. And I would never really stop to think about it, but lately I have been thinking: “When’s the last time she called me?” I used to think that was a childish way to look at things and that I shouldn’t expect someone to call me all the time, but at the same time, a friendship isn’t one-sided is it? I mean, I have a life too. A family, three kids, a full-time job, volunteer obligations, etc., etc. So it’s not like I have all the time in the world to call and check up on so and so and such and such. I do it because I genuinely am thinking about them.
Anyway, I decided to try a little experiement. I stopped making my usual “Hi! How are ya?” calls and waited to see who actually called me. The list? It was short. But I realized that the people who did call were the ones that, as I look back on my adult life, have been the ones that have been by my side time and time again. And so my list shortened. And guess what? Now, when I making my “let’s catch up” calls – I’m not nearly as tired.