Debunking the Nanny Myth: An Interview with Candi Wingate

It’s a touchy subject among moms.  In some circles, even the mention of hiring a nanny sends some women through the roof and elicits a whole lot of unsolicited judgements and criticisms.  If there is one thing I have learned to not do in my 6 years of being a parent, it’s to judge another mom about her decisions related to her family.  I recently met a mom at my daughter’s bus stop who stays and home with her 5 kids and has a nanny to help her.  She was totally afraid to even tell me for fear of that I would judge her.  Not me! Whatever works for you and you family is what matters.  And another thing I learned? Hiring a nanny was the best thing we could have done 3 years ago.  Before you get all worked up making all sorts of assumptions, let me share with you some insights from Candi Wingate, author of The Nanny Factor: A Parent’s Guide to Finding the Right Nanny for Your Family, and an expert in this field.

I had the opportunity to interview Candi about her book and some of the real considerations parents need to take into account when making childcare decisions for their families.  Candi’s qualifications are extensive; she’s worked as a nanny, worked at a nanny agency, owns a nanny agency of her own and has a nanny for her children.

We started out by talking about all of the things parents worry about when embarking on the search for the perfect nanny: Is she the right person? How much do I have to pay? Do we need to do a background check? At a time when you are anxious and preparing to bring in a stranger to care for your child, emotions are running high and it can be such a stressful time. Trust me.  But hiring a nanny is a very real option for many families. And a lifesaving one! In her new book, Candi helps to debunk some common myths about hiring a nanny:

Myth No. 1: Nannies are only for wealthy families
So not true! In fact, it’s been found that working families are the the ones that use nannies the most.  For a family with 2 children – and I can attest to this – hiring a nanny can be more cost effective than daycare.  A nanny can also assist working parents by filling in the gaps between school and work hours, helping with school and activity drop offs and pick ups, and caring for the children on school holidays while allowing parents to go to work.  They can also help with housework and allow working parents to spend their precious few hours at home spending quality time with their kids instead of folding laundry!

Myth No. 2: Nannies must work full-time
Not true! There are so many options when looking for a nanny to fit your family’s schedule and budget.  Nannies can work part-time, or you can look into nanny-share arrangements (where you share your nanny with another family based on your schedule needs).  According to Candi, of the families who responded to her surveys, 46.9 percent of the nannies worked part-time, with a range of hours per week varying from under 10 to 30.  Nanny arrangements can come in all shapes and forms – they can live in your home (or not), and they can even travel with you on vacation.

Myth No. 3: A nanny is not safe.
This is a biggie. And a valid concern. But also not true.  Candi shares in her book that “[i]n a study that compared children who recieved home care, center-based care, and other forms of out-of-home child care, the rate of minor injuries was highest in the center-based care, but there was not a significant difference among the three.”  Of course, parents should take precautions when looking for a childcare provider.  Background checks are always a good idea (there are many services that can do this for an affordable fee), and I recommend inviting the nanny in for a “test” run where you or a trusted person can watch her interaction with the kids.  Checking previous work references is also key.

Myth No. 4: I will not know what is going on in my house if I hire a nanny
Also not true. In The Nanny Factor, Candi shares that by setting up your communication systems at the start of your relationship, you will know everything that your child did that day. She recommends keeping a nanny journal, a daily reporting book where your nanny records important milestones, successes and challenges of the day.  I love receiving pictures via text from our nanny of my kids at the park or on a field trip.  Those pictures brighten my day!

Myth No. 5: Hiring a nanny is too complicated
Believe me, it’s not a walk in the park.  But! Totally worth the effort.  Nanny agencies, like Nannies4Hire.com (Candi’s agency), can help guide you through the process.  You can search online databases of available nannies and  see their picture, experience, health status, education and more.

Myth No. 6: A nanny will only take care of child-related things
Oh-so-not-true!  The scope of your nanny’s duties is something that will be discussed and agreed upon at the outset of your relationship.  According to Candi, a nanny is an asset to a family and, in most cases, will help your house run smoothly. {I can vouch for this!} The most important criterion is not to burden a nanny with non-child related activities and detract from their primary responsibility: the care of your child.  About 77 percent of the nannies who responded to our first survey in 2009 are doing child related activities (homework, errands, birthday parties, housework, laundry and meal perparation) while 19 percent are involved in famliy duties. In 2010, 79 percent are doing more that just watching children. When you get ready to hire your nanny, see how your nanny can help your family as a whole.

And those are the most common myths and facts to combat them.  Some additional tips she shared with me were to:

• set expectations from the start
• keep the lines of communication open
• treat your nanny with respect

I couldn’t imagine working full time without having our nanny.  She has truly been a blessing to our family.  The most important thing to remember is to do what works for you and to ignore what everyone else has to say.

A big thanks to Candi for taking the time to talk to me.  You can purchase The Nanny Factor here.

This post cross-posted on Mamalaw